Sunday Slate: Texans give in to all bad habits, 49ers brutally silenced by Packers, Eagles slaughter Rams OL

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Titans 32 at Texans 27

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In a way, this game doesn’t mean a whole lot. The Texans were unlikely to challenge for a top AFC seed given their record coming into the game. The Colts lost again, meaning the Texans maintained a two-game lead that is really three games when you consider they swept the Colts.

In another, more realistic way: This game was a harvest of sadness. The Texans were staked to a 7-0 lead after two plays behind a Dameon Pierce 80-yard return and a blown coverage touchdown to Cade Stover. They couldn’t even hold said lead for a full quarter. And in the process they emboldened the Titans and gave into the worst habits they have full bore. I loathe this world, because I loathe having to see a bunch of negative comments get posted about the team and having to acknowledge that they are correct.

Here are the four most galling things about this game to me, personally:

1) Amy Adams-Strunk is overjoyed.

I think too many years on the internet has taught me to be pretty careful when it comes to people’s feelings and how much I should be legislating them. But if I may dip my toe into the pool: I think this is absolutely pathetic. The Oilers jerseys thing last year, how much these games mean to Adams-Strunk … I understand the Texans and Titans will never have a “normal” relationship. But this isn’t exactly a real rivalry or anything, these teams have almost never been good at the same time. The team moved 25 years ago. And to see that just bitter vindictiveness rewarded, just how much Adams-Strunk cares about winning a game in a season that’s already lost for the Titans … it’s appalling. I hate when my favorite team loses to anyone, but losing to this team at this time in this way, and making a descendant of one of the worst owners in NFL history, holding on to her grievances as the only good thing in her life, cry like she won the goddamn Super Bowl? Woof, friends. Woof.

2) Eric Murray

The Texans gave up a lot of points and a lot of yards after a Thursday piece by some idiot said their defense was playing well enough to win the Super Bowl. In fairness to said defense, they also sacked Will Levis eight times and snagged a pick-six. But, then, they also did things like this:

Now there are three main deplorable efforts here. Henry To’oTo’o bites hard on the run fake, and even said after the game that he’d take full blame for it. OK, but Eric Murray’s (24) tackle attempt here? I understand that as the last line of defense you have to funnel inside, but you couldn’t even try to slow him up? And then we have to talk about Calen Bullock (21), who looked like he had no interest in catching up to Okonkwo. Didn’t exactly turn on the jets there.

Overall I thought Levis played well when he got protection — which I’m not surprised by, that is what he does — but this was a game marred by major coverage errors. Of the three Titans touchdowns, only the Pollard rushing touchdown to go up 17-7 was actually a tough play to make.

3) The horrible sequences that make the Texans the Texans

Lemme go to Houston’s penultimate drive of the game, where Nico Collins catches a go-ahead touchdown only for an illegal shift penalty to put the Texans at first-and-15. They actually managed to get out of that, make it to first-and-10 at the 11 … and then the offensive line gets hit with a holding penalty.

With 2:12 left in the game, second-and-9 from the 10, the Texans make a play call that I just can’t defend in any real way: They run Joe Mixon. The Titans had been kicking Houston’s ass in the run game all day, and Mixon wound up with a sad 14 carries for 22 yards, which is a cosplay 2021 Texans running back line. Second-and-long runs and Bobby Slowik are long-time friends, but the situation made this especially galling given how well Stroud had been moving the ball on that particular drive. Mixon was stuffed by Jeffrey Simmons for no gain, the third-and-long pass goes nowhere, and Kai Fairbairn shanks a 28-yard game-tying field goal.

Leading off the fourth quarter with a one-point lead following a pick-six and a punt, Houston’s offense goes three-and-out by way of a terrible bootleg, a Mixon run on second-and-long, two false start penalties in a row, and a Stroud sack on third down where Shaq Mason gets absolutely roasted.

We can no longer be surprised when these things happen. This is who the Texans are. They can talk about swarm, they can talk about mindsets, but they are not changing who they are. And who they are is too mistake-prone to go anywhere. I’ve held out hope that this could change because I think the raw talent for better is there, but between Slowik’s playcalling deficiencies and the offensive line’s rough rules, I am definitely running low on faith.

4) C.J. Stroud calls himself bad.

I’m not totally surprised that we’re getting a C.J. Stroud backlash this year. I can’t say that he has played up to his 2023 standards. But I hesitate to say that he’s playing poorly even when he does do that because I see so, so many good plays still happening.

Third-and-19. 6:34 left in the game:

I dunno man, catch a football.

I’m not saying that Stroud isn’t becoming more skittish or playing less under control — in fact, one of my greatest fears is that after fighting the “David Carr was never that talented” fight for 15 years, that the Texans ruin Stroud’s sense of calm this year and he never gets it back. I’m also not saying he didn’t make bad throws in this game. His second pick was rough.

But he is still ripping plenty of good balls, and I’m just not at a point where I can come away from these games thinking he’s the main problem. He looks off on some key throws, and he’s trying too hard because there’s nothing easy. But overall, his numbers are a victim of the play-calling and circumstances.

49ers 10 at Packers 38

If I were the 49ers, I would have my backup quarterback throw a dot in the middle of the field to my highly-paid wideout, and I’m sure it would work out we—

Did you know that Deebo Samuel did not work with the starting 12-personnel group in this game? Did you know that the 49ers could save $5 million against the cap in 2025 by giving him a post-June 1 release? These are some things that come to mind when you see that he has 43 receiving yards in his last two games.

The Packers made quick work of San Francisco’s vaunted running game, holding them to 16 carries for 44 yards as a team. Allen was able to rely on George Kittle, but Kittle is notably the only explosive player on this offense right now. Jauan Jennings is strong, but he’s not fast. Christian McCaffrey — whether by Achilles or age — is not the same kind of game-changing player in the passing game this year. Brandon Aiyuk is gone.

And the annoying thing is: The 49ers defense is so bereft of talent that we could have had an explosive, fantasy-interesting season out of this offense if they were the 2023 version. The Packers got out to a quick 17-0 lead, and while Tom Brady and company tried to pretend that they were a play away or whatever for three quarters, that was never going to happen. Josh Jacobs was cramping because he ran through so many tackles en route to three touchdowns. (NFL Pro has him with a missed tackle on 57.7% of his carries in this game.)

The 49ers get to play the Bills next week and are in danger of falling two back of Arizona and Seattle in the loss column. And they might not have Brock Purdy back for that game. I’m not saying they’re dead, but I’m certainly thinking it very loudly.

Eagles 37 at Rams 20

The Rams offense looked poised and efficient for their first two drives, then the Eagles figured out “oh yeah, this offensive line is bad” and simply never gave Matthew Stafford the time he needed to make big plays. The Rams doubled Jalen Carter (22 of 35 pass rushes per NFL Pro) so it was a big game for their other rushers, and in particular whoever faced Warren McClendon on the right side:

The Rams keep being extremely reliant on whether their pass protection can hold up or not. They did fine as an offense in this game on the scoreboard, and Stafford threw for 243 and a touchdown, but he was checking the ball down plenty.

The Eagles, on the other hand, got a lead. And then they turned to Saquon Barkley, and Barkley had an MVP-case (okay, okay, running backs don’t win MVP: he had an OPOY-case) game by running for 255 yards on the ground with two long touchdowns. The Rams tried to stack the box, they really did. It’s just that Barkley outplayed them:

Watch 56 (Christian Rozeboom) and 37 (Quentin Lake) as they learn the valuable lesson of pursuing Barkley too close to the line of scrimmage. They had 10 guys in the box. Didn’t matter. The Eagles strengthened their lead on the NFC East. The Rams are now essentially going to be forced to win the NFC West if they want a playoff berth.

Other games

Buccaneers 30 at Giants 7 — Upset that the Jets have been headlining the Failure Porn New York Football Show for a solid week following the Joe Douglas firing and several Aaron Rodgers reports, the Giants got to work on Sunday. They were down 23-0 at halftime and 30-0 before they got the ball in the third quarter. Baker Mayfield taunted their backup quarterback by doing his uh, meme? Can we call it a meme? A celebration would imply that there was ever something Tommy DeVito did worth celebrating. "It was a tribute. A tribute to Tommy," Mayfield, who swore it was unplanned, said with a deadpanned expression. "He's a good dude."

Uh, yeah, the Giants got embarrassed. They finished with 4.4 yards per play, it was worse at halftime. The Giants gave up 4.9 a carry and let 11 different Bucs players catch passes. Bucky Irving led the way with 12/87/1 on the ground and 6/64 in the air.

Afterwards? The fireworks really began, with Malik Nabers calling the team "Soft as [expletive]" and asking reporters what they wanted him to do when he never saw the ball (literally not targeted) until it was 30-0. He was far from the only quotable in the locker room. (Tackle Jermaine Eluemunor, in the piece linked below, said “Why would you want to sit here and watch the product we’re putting on the field?”) This has been kind of the modus operandi for the Giants when things go bad. The Maras don’t really want to make changes — they hate changes — but a bad season gets embarrassing towards the end. And the New York media spotlights starts asking if John Mara have any choice but to make changes because of how embarrassing this is. And then Mara sheepishly hits the podium in January, like Grady Little after he left Pedro Martinez in for too long in the 2003 ALCS, and says “well, we fired everyone.”

Chiefs 30 at Panthers 27 — I love the two different messages that came out of this game. The Chiefs, as shown by this Nate Taylor lede, won a game and acted like someone ran over their dog:

On the Panthers side? Bryce Young had the best game of his young career and gave a post-game speech that was so inspiring it made the highly-paid guard want to play again. Young was blitzed on 40 percent of his dropbacks and completed 11-of-14 for 123 yards on those plays, which does not at all jive with the guy I have watched all season. Fascinating stuff.

Such is the chaos that ensues when the 9-1 presumptive Super Bowl favorite needs a last-minute field-goal attempt to knock off the worst team in the NFL over the last two seasons. Each team averaged 5.8 yards per play, and there were no turnovers. These teams are exactly the same, clearly.

Also, with Patrick Mahomes taking five sacks, you start to see why DJ Humphries was signed off the street this week. DJ Wonnum blew right by Wanya Morris on one sack, and untouched rushers got him on a pair of back-to-back sacks in the fourth quarter. Jadeveon Clowney looked really good, someone should have freed him before the deadline.

Patriots 15 at Dolphins 34 — The Dolphins led this game 31-0 at one point, and while Drake Maye did have some poor plays, I think you have to give the ascending Dolphins some credit for figuring things out on defense. They bamboozled the Rams on MNF, sat on the Raiders, and then eight of the points scored in this one came off a fumble return touchdown and two-point conversion.

Jaylen Waddle finally exploded with an 8/144/1 line, and Jonnu Smith continued to become the world’s true TE1 with a 9/87/1 game on a team-leading 11 targets. Suddenly 5-6 and 1.5 games behind the Broncos for the last wild card spot, the Dolphins face an absolute must-win in Lambeau on Thanksgiving. Good luck with that.

New England’s defense does not remotely resemble what they had in 2023 and — he writes for what feels like the fifth time this season — it sure seems like a bad look for their defensive-minded head coach that he can’t find any easy answers on that side of the ball.

Cowboys 34 at Commanders 26 — For 57 minutes this game was a drab affair where Kliff Kingsbury played down to the competition of a (better with Micah Parsons back) Dallas defense and the Commanders got no pass rush against Cooper Rush. Unlike the last few games, Dallas actually managed to win in man coverage — NFL Pro had Rush at 8-of-11 for 129 yards and two scores against it. The Commanders are literally begging Marshon Lattimore’s hamstring to heal.

The Commanders scored to cut the Dallas lead to 20-15 with three minutes left, and then the climactic scene of a movie settled its aura over the rest of the game. KaVontae Turpin housed a kickoff for 99 yards. You can tell it was an NFC East game because ESPN instantly produced an oral history of the game. Anyway, let’s hear what Jeremy Reaves had to say:

The Commanders kicked a field goal. Dallas went three-and-out in a hurry, and the Commanders countered with this:

Hard to do much better than that as far as counters ago. Unfortunately, Austin Siebert then missed the tying extra point, and the Cowboys returned the ensuing onside kick for a touchdown to get to the final margin.

With three losses in a row, all by one score, the Commies are authoring an NFC Wild Card comeback for someone. Arizona and Seattle are a half-game back, while Tampa Bay is 1.5 games back but has a head-to-head tiebreak on the Commanders. They get to play the Titans next week … but the Titans have played much better of late, as some of us know.

Vikings 30 at Bears 27 — A wild game in its own right. Caleb Williams and the Chicago offense put up one of the best fights against the full-strength Vikings defense we’ve seen all year, with 340 yards, no picks, and a 10-of-13 for 156 yards and two scores line against Minnesota blitzes. There was also this ridiculous off-script play:

Sure, that’s a normal throw to make when you’re flushed from the pocket and avoid a free rusher.

But, much like the Patriots, the Bears have a defensive-minded head coach who isn’t bringing a lot to the table. Chicago got pressure, but a lot of it was late pressure, and Sam Darnold had one of his “good” under pressure games and found a ton of Jordan Addison. The Vikings had their hands on what looked like a comfortable 27-16 lead with 1:56 left, but the Bears quickly authored a touchdown drive and found an onside kick with 22 seconds left. Williams made this throw to set up a 48-yarder for overtime:

Nice underneath zone you’ve got there be a shame if someone catapulted a throw right over it. The Vikings held on in overtime after Williams took an enormous sack that forced the Bears into a third-and-21, but the message that he will be a problem in future years was well heard. Particularly if and when the Vikings dump Matt Eberflus as they dumped Shane Waldron.

Lions 24 at Colts 6 — Pretender meets juggernaut, juggernaut romps, has been a big theme of Detroit’s non-Texans AFC South games. In lieu of a deeper analysis, I just want to post this sequence of paragraphs from The Athletic’s Colts beat James Boyd:

C.J. Stroud isn’t as inaccurate as Anthony Richardson is, but boy does that sequence read like it could be written about many Texans offensive games this season too. Detroit remained in the NFC driver’s seat, while the Colts are barely clinging to a heartbeat because of the Texans loss.

Broncos 29 at Raiders 19 — It took the Broncos a surprisingly long time to put the Raiders away, as they were only up three with nine minutes left. Bo Nix throw a gorgeous back-shoulder ball to Courtland Sutton to permanently seal the tight lead, and the Broncos hung on to keep the pressure on the rest of the AFC would-be wild card field:

The Raiders did not get romped as many Nix fantasy football believers thought, but they are aimless in a way that feels hard to fathom. Gardner Minshew broke his collarbone and is done for the year, and Raiders beats speculated that Aidan O’Connell, not Desmond Ridder, would come off IR and get the start against the Chiefs on Black Friday. Someone let the Raiders know that the tradition Tim Boyle started on Black Friday must be upheld, please. I need at least one Hail Mary pick-six per Black Friday.

Cardinals 6 at Seahawks 16 — Kyler Murray made this throw on a fourth-down go, and that was one of two touchdowns in the game:

Oops. To be clear, there were several touchdowns in this game wiped off the board. Another defensive score the Seahawks had on Murray. A few Arizona potential touchdowns to Michael Wilson and Marvin Harrison Jr. that were overruled on replay. But at the end of the day, Seattle’s defense outsmothered Arizona’s. The Seahawks allowed just two successful rushes all day against the Cardinals. They take the lead in the NFC West. I have to admit I was somewhat skeptical of what Seattle was doing when they waived starting linebacker Tyrel Dodson at the bye, but they’ve allowed just 23 points in two division wins since.

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